This past months has been.....tumultuous, emotional, crazy, pull my hair out because I think I am losing it, kind of month. Good things are happening, but lots and lots of bad things have happened to bring those good things around. Circle of life, I guess.
This has helped me a lot. I love coffee. I love the smell, the taste, the color, everything. It makes me so very happy. I also love pretty coffee cups. This one is lovely, it makes me smile.
I would not have made it this past month without coffee, diet coke, Jesus, and my husband. Jesus would come first in that list and then my husband and then coffee and diet coke, you get the picture. Anyway, God is so good, I have been praying a lot and He has been very faithful. I know those reading may be a little foggy about what I am talking about, so I guess I will fill you all in.
For years my oldest son has struggled with school, paying attention, being kind to friends, being respectful, obedience, you name it. He was diagnosed with ADHD last summer, so my hopes in writing this is that some parents who are where we are will read it and know that they are not alone, even though it feels like it. Just a few short weeks ago, we were at a place of absolute despair and we felt like we were in an un-winnable battle. Thankfully we started on some new medicine and after much research I came across a book that I feel is changing our lives. It is called "The Explosive Child" by Ross W. Greene. I am only on the 3rd chapter, but I have cried more than I thought possible while reading a book. In the book, the author states how there is no other group of children who are so misunderstood. That is my boy, misunderstood, even by my husband and I, until I started to read this book, I was like everyone else. I would look at him, and think, why does he act like that, why does he do those things, say those things,....for years I have been so consumed about whether or not he behaved the "right" way and what others thought about him and how his behavior reflected on me as a parent. I am done with it. It breaks my heart to think about all the pressure I have put on my child to meet up to expectations that he just can't meet. He tried, bless his heart, he tried, but after so long he just couldn't take it.
I am over worrying about what everyone else thinks, all that matters now, is the 6 people living in this tiny yellow house, that we have Jesus in our hearts and love for each other. Is my son going to get into trouble, act out, hurt other kids' feeling, yes, he is, will he be sorry for it, yes, will I condemn him, no, not anymore. He will be forgiven, just as Jesus forgave me. Do I care what others think? Nope. I am through putting that pressure on my boy and myself. God is changing me, He is changing my son, and it is an awesome thing. The book I mentioned is changing the way that we parent, and the way we see our child. He is different, but not in a bad way, different in a very good, complex way. And that is ok, it is the way God made him, and I love that. Its going to be a long, long road, we are not even close to being out of the woods, but God is showing us the way, through good doctors, counselors, books and His faithful love. Hope is here.
If you are a parent and have had a child who has been diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Bi-Polar, intermittent explosive disorder, Tourette's, depression, or any other learning disability, you NEED to read this book. You will be so glad that you did!
2 days ago