This has helped me a lot. I love coffee. I love the smell, the taste, the color, everything. It makes me so very happy. I also love pretty coffee cups. This one is lovely, it makes me smile.
I would not have made it this past month without coffee, diet coke, Jesus, and my husband. Jesus would come first in that list and then my husband and then coffee and diet coke, you get the picture. Anyway, God is so good, I have been praying a lot and He has been very faithful. I know those reading may be a little foggy about what I am talking about, so I guess I will fill you all in.
For years my oldest son has struggled with school, paying attention, being kind to friends, being respectful, obedience, you name it. He was diagnosed with ADHD last summer, so my hopes in writing this is that some parents who are where we are will read it and know that they are not alone, even though it feels like it. Just a few short weeks ago, we were at a place of absolute despair and we felt like we were in an un-winnable battle. Thankfully we started on some new medicine and after much research I came across a book that I feel is changing our lives. It is called "The Explosive Child" by Ross W. Greene. I am only on the 3rd chapter, but I have cried more than I thought possible while reading a book. In the book, the author states how there is no other group of children who are so misunderstood. That is my boy, misunderstood, even by my husband and I, until I started to read this book, I was like everyone else. I would look at him, and think, why does he act like that, why does he do those things, say those things,....for years I have been so consumed about whether or not he behaved the "right" way and what others thought about him and how his behavior reflected on me as a parent. I am done with it. It breaks my heart to think about all the pressure I have put on my child to meet up to expectations that he just can't meet. He tried, bless his heart, he tried, but after so long he just couldn't take it.
I am over worrying about what everyone else thinks, all that matters now, is the 6 people living in this tiny yellow house, that we have Jesus in our hearts and love for each other. Is my son going to get into trouble, act out, hurt other kids' feeling, yes, he is, will he be sorry for it, yes, will I condemn him, no, not anymore. He will be forgiven, just as Jesus forgave me. Do I care what others think? Nope. I am through putting that pressure on my boy and myself. God is changing me, He is changing my son, and it is an awesome thing. The book I mentioned is changing the way that we parent, and the way we see our child. He is different, but not in a bad way, different in a very good, complex way. And that is ok, it is the way God made him, and I love that. Its going to be a long, long road, we are not even close to being out of the woods, but God is showing us the way, through good doctors, counselors, books and His faithful love. Hope is here.
If you are a parent and have had a child who has been diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Bi-Polar, intermittent explosive disorder, Tourette's, depression, or any other learning disability, you NEED to read this book. You will be so glad that you did!
4 comments:
Candy, Boy do i understand, my LonnJe is my special child, ADHD OCD, PTSD and Hoarding Disorder(boy do I the neat freak struggle with that one).....and I too have just loved her despite what others may think and say....and God is so good he gave me the perfect husband for me and father for her, who supports me in my struggles and loves her as is. I am so glad you found the resources you need, just stay on your knees at the throne of the King....He is good all the time!
Christina kratochvil
Thanks for your sweet words girl! Its funny, because all that surprises me about LonnJe, I never would have thought she had any of that! God is so good, He has just recently given me a peace and patience that I never thought I was capable of, and wouldn't be capable of without Him! Your right, they are our special children, God is going to do great things through them!
That book is FANTASTIC and I have recommended it to lots of parents and colleagues over the years. It changed how I see the kids I work with and gave me a much better understanging of them and how to help. Especially now in a parenting role with kids who have all kinds of diagnoses and struggles, I so appreciate the wisdom in that book! It's been a few years since I read it and I think it's time for a refresher read. :)
Your right Jodi, it is pretty fantastic! I am just so glad we found it, I think the key is to see the kids for who they really are, not how we want to see them. We are going to be learning a lot along the way!
Post a Comment